Memories of the days before my child died

Open letter on wooden desk (Mybona, Getty Images)

I remember your eyes. Your calm, collected countenance, even though you seemed a bit rushed. I wonder if you would admit that now? It was an afternoon appointment and things were backed up. Scheduling, maybe?

In any case, you did give me more time than I thought I might get…


Prose poetry

Image by W_photography from Canva Pro

The day that Andy died, I was in Mississippi.
Coming home from class at ten after midnight,
I did not expect the phone call.

The day that Andy died, my roommate decided to sleep with my boyfriend. …

You are reading my mind, Sean. Embracing my fears was how I got through pregnancy after loss. I had to accept that really bad things happen, while still hoping for the best. Thank you as always <3

Stethoscope on top of blood pressure machine
Stethoscope on top of blood pressure machine
Stethoscope and blood pressure device (Rallef, Getty Images)

When I was pregnant for the first time, I remember reading about preeclampsia in my prenatal education books and also here and there in articles online. I knew many of the symptoms and warning signs, and I thought I was pretty prepared if any of them became relevant during my…

Adrian’s Elephant and my boots (personal photo)

Someone looked through my writing the other day and commented that, if you didn’t know better, you wouldn’t know I was in the military. (So if this is the first time you are hearing about it — surprise, I guess?) …

The other night, in one of the pregnancy groups I follow, someone posted about reduced movement and being concerned. My daughter had also been less active that day, and I was reading the message boards for distraction while I settled and waited for her to get active. Having lost my…

(personal photo)

It’s the phone call you never expect to receive. It comes from your sister; your coworker; your best friend. She has been pregnant, and you’ve been following her pregnancy with so much excitement. You threw her a baby shower. You bought her a box of diapers and a ridiculously expensive…

My maternity photo with Amy Anne (Modern Lux Photography)

When I was three years old, my mom took me to look at a litter of new puppies. They were tiny, scrawling balls of curly gray and brown fur. I think there were three or four of them; I don’t really remember. …

I’ve been re-watching old TV shows lately, and there’s a moment in “How I Met Your Mother” that I keep coming back to. For a show that purports to be comedy, there are some surprisingly deeper levels. …

Miranda on the beach in California (Synch Media)

She was probably the most innocent person in the room. And that’s funny, I guess, because she was so incredibly book smart.

She studied voraciously and made so many plans. She kept checklists and spreadsheets. She was teacher’s pet in a class that kept no grades.

She believed in the…

Miranda Hernandez | Adrian’s Mother

Writer; Mother; Everything in Between

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